When evil, inbred, cannibal, devilish, prehistoric, underground piranha are unleashed on the tiny town of Lake Victoria during "Spring Break", the outcome is all rather predictable. Babes, bikinis, boobs, bums, blood, bazulco and bad acting. Run from a budget of $24M the film has almost no actors of note in lead roles. Although there is a cameo from Eli Roth (_Inglourious Basterds_), which is always cool. What we have here, is a virtually flawless example of stupid fun. There's no point in trying to evaluate a film like _Piranha 3D_ on factors like good taste, because it goes out of its way to smash these conventions apart. The film has this crazy energy about it from beginning to end. It also however, is the perfect example of why 3D is so fucking unnecessary. And though I appreciate how forward the film is, that doesn't make it strictly speaking good. It's part creature-feature, part horror-comedy, but it doesn't stand up in a thrill sense to actual monster movies like _Anaconda_ or _King Kong_, and it doesn't stand up in a humour sense to actual horror comedy like _Shaun of the Dead_ or _Dead Snow_, but it sort of takes off on its own in a passable manner. Though it's kiiinda humorous, the film is mostly just "fun", as opposed to "funny". The script seems cobbled together with a couple of different half assed plot points, but several half ass plots taped together is better than just one half assed plot trying to hold its own and ending up looking like no plot at all. Exploitation has never really been A-grade material, and even though the "suspension of disbelief" thing that films are supposed to have as a general rule, is sort of... not here, _Piranha 3D_ still manages to somehow get this piece of crap off the ground. I watched it at about 2am with a male friend of mine who has very similar taste and sense of humour to me, and that's pretty much got to be the best possible setting to watch it in. The CG gore is ridiculous, the 3D focus is ridiculous, the film itself is just fucking ridiculous. But brainless is great sometimes, just don't make a habit of thinking that you can get away with bad exploitation, and calling it Black Comedy, once or twice is fine, but soon it just looks like you're aiming for cult, and getting lazy. -Gimly
This is the 2010 remake of the old classic. The original is pretty much crap so I bought this one solely based on the fact that it has been getting unusually good reviews from both critics as well as viewers. I have to say that I am at loss as to why. There are loads of much better films in the action/horror/fantasy genre’s that, at least the so called “critics” totally hammer. Why the hell this trash got so good scores is beyond me. The female acting consists of showing off your boobs then get eaten. The male acting consists of being an asshole, get your dick eaten, then get the rest eaten. The main “event” is a contrived scene when the main asshole get his dick bitten off and the piranhas eat it and spit it out again under water. I’m sure the 3D effects made it even more ridiculous than in 2d. I usually have rather high tolerance for poor acting and bad scripts when it comes to otherwise effects and gore loaded films but most of this film I was just thinking, “what the f... is this shit!”. Most of the film was just scenes stashed on top of each other designed to show of 3D effects with boobs and various ways a human could get eaten. This is a typical example of why 3D is bad for the movie industry.
Piranha hunt in packs - not for protection, but for overwhelming force. Actually many of today's younger multiplex goers hunt in packs, they know what they like and they know how to have a good time with even the most crude or banal movie. I don't mean that as an insult, it's just indicative of the film market available to them, it's the reason why films like this here Piranha remake/re-imaging/re-jig exists and makes money. Even "spawning" a franchise on occasions. Alexandre Aja's Piranha 3D is a complete machine gun of a movie, it knew exactly how to sell tickets at the box office. Even before the 3D was used as a selling point, the word down the grapevine was the promise of lithe bodies in beach wear and loads of CGI killer fish shredding the hell out of a whole community. And that's exactly what is delivered, only with extras that see considerable nudity in the mammary areas and Elisabeth Shue and Ving Rhames kicking buttocks. It's all very bloody, even lurid and exploitive, while it's difficult to know if you are meant to laugh, scream or do something that Russ Meyer would endorse? But, and I say this as a middle aged old fart, there is so much fun to be had here if you are prepared to unscrew your head and take out your brain. Strap yourselves in Piranha 3D haters, your grandchildren might just be enjoying in the future: Piranha 27: Sexy Mechanoid Bimbos Fight Back. But will they hate themselves in the morning? 7/10
In 1975, Richard Dreyfuss starred in Jaws; 35 years later he had a cameo in Piranha. His connection to the first film is obviously the only reason he’s in the second, wherein he’s killed off before his name even appears in the opening credits. Dreyfuss is not alone, though; Elisabeth Shue and Ving Rhames also get to whore themselves out. In the latter's case, there was never any danger that Piranha would result in another hand-me-down acting award for Jack Lemmon; on the other hand, Rhames has easily the best scene in the entire movie — using an outboard motor in a way that would make Ash Williams proud. But I'm getting ahead of myself; Shue and Rhames first have to find the remains of Dreyfuss, then capture a piranha which they take to Christopher Lloyd (in full Doc Brown mode), who identifies it as a species that has been extinct for two million years (according to the subtitles, Lloyd calls it the "regional piranha," but he may actually be saying "original"; either way it doesn’t matter because neither term makes sense). An earthquake released the piranhas from an underground lake, or some such bullshit. Q: "How could they survive for so long cut off from the surface?" A: "Cannibalism. They must have fought each other to survive.” Until, presumably, there could be only one. Piranha MacLeod? Well, that would actually explain their apparent immortality. Piranha is supposed to be a comedy — or, specifically, it's a remake of a parody of Jaws released three years after Jaws and 32 before this one. In other words, this material was so diluted it was almost homeopathic. Shue and Rhames are big fish in a small pond here — kinda like those poor Sea World orcas (I know they’re mammals; you get the idea, though); as such, the only emotion they inspire in the audience is pity over their career choices. Only Jerry O'Connell, in a role no doubt based on Joe Francis (of Girls Gone Wild infamy), moves as if he's in his own element — because he is; he knows exactly, having been in several others of the same ilk, what kind of movie this is, and navigates it accordingly.
An FBI informant has kept his new identity secret for 15 years. Now an old flame has recognised him, and the bad guys are back for revenge.
Movie Star Rating : 6.2 Read More
During World War II, Steve Rogers is a sickly man from Brooklyn who's transformed into super-soldier Captain America to aid in the war effort. Rogers must stop the Red Skull – Adolf Hitler's ruthless head of weaponry, and the leader of an organization that intends to use a mysterious device of untold powers for world domination.
Movie Star Rating : 7 Read More
In 1927 Hollywood, a silent film production company and cast make a difficult transition to sound.
Movie Star Rating : 8.2 Read More
The crew of an experimental underwater nuclear base are forced to struggle for their lives when their explorations disturb a creature who threatens to destroy their base.
Movie Star Rating : 5.5 Read More
After losing an acting role and his girlfriend, Jake Scully finally catches a break: he gets offered a gig house-sitting in the Hollywood Hills. While peering through the beautiful home's telescope one night, he spies a gorgeous woman dancing in her window. But when he witnesses the girl's murder, it leads Scully through the netherworld of the adult entertainment industry on a search for answers—with porn actress Holly Body as his guide.
Movie Star Rating : 6.7 Read More
Harry, Ron and Hermione continue their quest to vanquish the evil Voldemort once and for all. Just as things begin to look hopeless for the young wizards, Harry discovers a trio of magical objects that endow him with powers to rival Voldemort's formidable skills.
Movie Star Rating : 8.1 Read More
Just before bounty hunter Charile triggers his gun to destroy the last two Critter-eggs, he gets a message that it would be illegal to extinguish the race from the galaxy. He's sent a transporter where he puts the eggs - unfortunately the transporter takes him with it and then gets lost in space.
Movie Star Rating : 5 Read More
Having just returned from a mission to Mars, Commander Ross isn't exactly himself. He's slowly becoming a terrifying alien entity with one goal - to procreate with human women! When countless women suffer gruesome deaths after bearing half-alien offspring, scientist Laura Baker and hired assassin Press Lennox use Eve, a more tempered alien clone, to find Ross and his brood. Before long Eve escapes to mate with Ross.
Movie Star Rating : 5.1 Read More
In the sequel to Paul Verhoeven's loved/reviled sci-fi film, a group of troopers taking refuge in an abandoned outpost after fighting alien bugs, failing to realize that more danger lays in wait.
Movie Star Rating : 4.3 Read More
Knowing the Score 2023 - Movies (Mar 24th)
John Wick Chapter 4 2023 - Movies (Mar 24th)
Reggie 2023 - Movies (Mar 24th)
Unseen 2023 - Movies (Mar 23rd)
Batman The Doom That Came to Gotham 2023 - Movies (Mar 23rd)
Lullaby 2022 - Movies (Mar 22nd)
The Son 2022 - Movies (Mar 22nd)
Plane 2023 - Movies (Mar 22nd)
Missing 2023 - Movies (Mar 22nd)
The Cosmos Sisters 2022 - Movies (Mar 22nd)
Motorvation 2022 - Movies (Mar 22nd)
One Year Off 2023 - Movies (Mar 22nd)
Gods Time 2022 - Movies (Mar 22nd)
The Fourth Musketeer 2022 - Movies (Mar 22nd)
Mindcage 2022 - Movies (Mar 21st)
M3GAN 2022 - Movies (Mar 21st)
The System 2022 - Movies (Mar 21st)
Immanence 2022 - Movies (Mar 21st)
Wog Boys Forever 2022 - Movies (Mar 21st)
Gunfight at Rio Bravo 2023 - Movies (Mar 21st)
Kill Her Goats 2023 - Movies (Mar 21st)
Ex on the Beach - (Mar 24th)
Becoming Frida Kahlo - (Mar 24th)
Great British Menu - (Mar 24th)
Good Trouble - (Mar 24th)
Love Island Spain - (Mar 24th)
Swamp People - (Mar 24th)
Swamp People- Serpent Invasion - (Mar 24th)
Law and Order- Special Victims Unit - (Mar 24th)
Law and Order- Organized Crime - (Mar 24th)
Power Book II- Ghost - (Mar 24th)
Party Down - (Mar 24th)
Yellowjackets - (Mar 24th)
Next Level Chef - (Mar 24th)
Jersey Shore- Family Vacation - (Mar 24th)
This Old House - (Mar 24th)
Ask This Old House - (Mar 24th)
Greys Anatomy - (Mar 24th)
Isle of Wight- Jewel of the South - (Mar 24th)
Rise and Fall - (Mar 24th)
Cold Case Detectives - (Mar 24th)