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The low point for the _Critters_ franchise. Surpassing the third film to become the new bottom rung on the ladder. Wouldn't have been surprised to learn that the creatives behind _Critters Attack!_ had been given only a passing overview on the four films preceding it. _Final rating:★★ - Had some things that appeal to me, but a poor finished product._
"Critters Attack!" is a strange film to review. I honestly think this film was not made with reviews in mind. No, I mean really not made with reviews in mind, because it's hard to get a bead on what they were truly going for here. It seems like a reboot, but then Dee Wallace is in it and indicates that the Crites have been around before, although she behaves more like Lee from the first two films so maybe she's really Terrence Mann in disguise (who is conspicuously absent; I was waiting for him to pop up as it just doesn't feel like a Critters movie without Terrence Mann)...I don't know. So, let's break this down. To start, you'll notice that, to the film's credit, they stick to primarily to practical effects. This is good as it's trying to at least feel like the original films. Honestly, CGI Crites would probably have been really bad. They even bring back the giant Critter Ball from the second movie, although still no human sized Crites as seen in the first film. Crites are puppets and should only be puppets, although at the same time, something about these new redesigned puppets feels a little off. They've always had big mouths, but now they've got flip-top heads. Eh... However, the practical effects bring up a real oddity to this film. There are also a lot of prosthetics used for the Crites to chew on. Now, in and of itself, that wouldn't be an issue. What makes it odd is that it makes this film much more violent and gory than the previous ones. I like a good gory horror flick as much as the next person, but something about it feels...strange in a Critters movie. The previous films are very tame by comparison, with only two people dying in the first movie. This isn't necessarily bad as people who watched the old movies have grown up and are more mature now, but it does throw you a little bit. Then we get to the script. This film feels like it was written by a first-year film student. It's nonsensical, goes all over the place with little focus, explanation, or even a satisfying ending, if you can even call it an ending since it just seems to stop. The characters are not well fleshed out and they resort to gimmicks to try and get us to remember some of them since they have no other characteristics, like a guy who's obsessed with bagpipes. Heck, I forgot younger boy in the main group was even there half the time since his gimmick is that he doesn't talk and only communicates by texting. They probably thought they were being funny, but instead it creates a major stumbling block. Overall, while it's still a pretty bad film, but you can at least tell that the filmmakers were fans of the original and were trying to do something of a tribute, and let's be honest, unless you're a fan of at least the original movie, you're probably not going to see this one. In fact, that's exactly what this feels like: An amateurish fan film. You're not missing much if you avoid it or never even knew it existed, like me until I stumbled upon it completely by accident. I kind of wish I hadn't.
Two young boys sneak aboard a spaceship and find themselves whisked away to the mysterious planet Terra. There, they encounter Gamera's old foe Gyaos and two female aliens with a taste for human brains. Gamera must save the children and battle the new monster Guiron, whose entire body is a deadly living weapon.
A new team of paranormal researchers has come to the hotel to investigate its murder-soaked past; the puppets - led by a new member, Torch - shed some light on the matter, as they tunnel, burn, strangle and hook to survive.
Blade, Tunneler, and Pinhead go toe-to-toe with a team of terrifying, gremlin-like creatures known as "Totems" that are sent by the Egyptian demon Sutekh to recapture the magic stolen by Toulon.
Sutekh, the dark pharaoh from another dimension, sends his own puppet, Totem, to continue his quest to kill Rick and steal the magic which animates the puppets.
A group of toymakers seek to use Andre Toulon's formula, now in the hands of Toulon's great-nephew Robert, to give life to a line of killer toys that they plan to unleash on Christmas Eve.
Neil Agar, a security agent with the State Department, is dispatched to Peckham, California to investigate the death of a bacteriologist working at government-sponsored Brandt Research. His investigation is soon complicated by a growing number of deaths, all men who died of congestive heart failure caused by sexual exhaustion.
BSAA Chris Redfield enlists the help of government agent Leon S. Kennedy and Professor Rebecca Chambers from Alexander Institute of Biotechnology to stop a death merchant with a vengeance from spreading a deadly virus in New York.
As the holidays approach, Emily and Jared are looking forward to celebrating the holidays together again, this time as a couple. Emily, now embracing Evergreen Lane’s uniquely festive spirit, is ready to work with Jared, Ned, Mary Louise and Pamela to make this year’s Christmas celebrations the best yet – even if being the HOA president’s girlfriend doesn’t stop those dreaded decorating citations. When a house on the block goes up for sale, it causes quite a stir with residents.
Noah, an aimless college dropout, is constantly getting swept up in romances that always end in heartbreak. At work, he is paired to train Autumn, an infectious, enigmatic and fun new girl, who challenges his views on love, relationships and life.
You've never been invited to a sleepover like this! "Pajama Nightmare" includes three freaky, sexy stories from the twisted heart of Athens, Georgia. It's all here, folks: Busty aliens, singing cannibals, and a Halloween slumber party filled with burlesque babes!