Ladro lui, ladra lei

After the coal mine he works at closes and his father commits suicide, a Finnish man leaves for the city to make a living but there, he is framed and imprisoned for various crimes.

Disgraced ex-England football captain, Danny 'Mean Machine' Meehan, is thrown in jail for assaulting two police officers. He keeps his head down and has the opportunity to forget everything and change the lives of the prisoners. When these prisoners have the chance to put one over the evil guards during a prison football match, Danny takes the lead.

When recently single Steven moves into his new apartment, cable guy Chip comes to hook him up—and doesn't let go. Initially, Chip is just overzealous in his desire to be Steven's pal, but when Steven tries to end the 'friendship', Chip shows his dark side. He begins stalking Steven, who's left to fend for himself because no one else can believe Chip's capable of such behaviour.

The mafia's Paul Vitti is back in prison and will need some serious counseling when he gets out. Naturally, he returns to his analyst Dr. Ben Sobel for help and finds that Sobel needs some serious help himself as he has inherited the family practice, as well as an excess stock of stress.

Once again tampering with mother nature to disastrous results, Dr. Herbert West continues his research while serving time in a maximum security prison for his previous exploits. West's limited prison-cell experiments are suddenly interrupted by the arrival of a new prison doctor and the brother of the girl who suffered from West's experiments 13 years earlier.

A company president gets framed with a food-poisoning scandal and the only person who can help him is the evening cleaning-woman, who always seems to be at the right place at the right time.

Virgil Starkwell is intent on becoming a notorious bank robber. Unfortunately for Virgil and his not-so-budding career, he is completely incompetent.

Finally released from prison, Elwood Blues is once again enlisted by Sister Mary Stigmata in her latest crusade to raise funds for a children's hospital. Hitting the road to re-unite the band and win the big prize at the New Orleans Battle of the Bands, Elwood is pursued cross-country by the cops.

A group of strangers come across a man dying after a car crash who proceeds to tell them about the $350,000 he buried in California. What follows is the madcap adventures of those strangers as each attempts to claim the prize for himself.

For the past four years, San Francisco cop Jack Cates has been after an unidentified drug kingpin who calls himself the Ice Man. Jack finds a picture that proves that the Ice Man has put a price on the head of Reggie Hammond, who is scheduled to be released from prison on the next day.

For years Yellowbeard had looted the Spanish Main, making men eat their lips and swallow their hearts. Caught and convicted for tax evasion, he's sentenced to 20 years in St. Victim's Prison for the Extremely Naughty. In a scheme to confiscate his fabulous treasure, the Royal Navy allows him to escape and follows him, where saucy tarts, lisping demigods and some awful puns and punishments await.