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Women Wearing Shoulder Pads - (Aug 19th)
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How is it that more people aren't talking about what is almost certainly the worst affront to the Killer-Shark-Creature-Feature genre? Don't get me wrong, there was absolutely no redeeming _2-Headed Shark Attack_, it was awful, absolutely, but when in the climax of the whole thing, the animators FORGOT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE TWO HEADS, I went ballistic. I seriously had to rewind, because I thought, even in a movie this atrocious, they couldn't make that mistake, I mean, it's in the title of the movie, it's not possible... But not, they did. They replaced it with a regular shark model... _Final rating:½ - So bad it’s offensive. I may never fully recover._
**Two-Headed Shark Attack forgot it was a dumb Syfy creature film and took itself too seriously - bad idea.** I am a massive fan of low-budget, cheesy shark movies. So when I saw a goofy new shark movie named Two-Headed Shark Attack, I was obviously mesmerized. Part of the charm and delight of these shark movies is the self-awareness and love of the ridiculous goofiness that makes this subgenre so fun. Unfortunately, Two-Headed Shark Attack took itself too seriously to rise to the nonsensical fun of movies like Sharknado and Ghost Shark. This movie was smart to have plenty of expendable characters, but the kills were all the same; so much shaky cam and quick cuts that it lost any of its fun. With actors like Carmen Electra, Brooke Hogan, and Charlie O'Connell and something as ridiculous as a 2-headed shark, this movie should have cranked up the cheese, but instead, it hardly even acknowledges the mutant shark. I was bored... that is the true death sentence of any lame shark film.
Captain Jack Sparrow races to recover the heart of Davy Jones to avoid enslaving his soul to Jones' service, as other friends and foes seek the heart for their own agenda as well.
Two divers are left out at sea without a boat. There’s nothing but water for miles, unless they look at what’s underneath them...
British estate agent Renfield travels to Transylvania to meet the mysterious Count Dracula, who is interested in leasing a castle in London. After Dracula enslaves Renfield and drives him to insanity, the pair sail to London together and Dracula, a secret vampire, begins preying on London socialites.
When Andres and his partner are hired to recover some valuables from an airplane that went down in the Bermuda Triangle, they face not only human treachery but also the mysterious powers of an underwater civilization.
A mad man threatens to lure hundreds of sharks to the beach at Surfers Paradise Australia at the start of the tourist season, his price to hold off the sharks is $2 million. Our heroes do everything from escaping jail to risking death in a chemical factory, to stop him.
A prehistoric shark (named in the books "megalodon") lurks Mallorca, killing a couple of individuals. A professional diver begins the hunt.
Alice finds the deadly dreams of Freddy Krueger starting once again. This time, the taunting murderer is striking through the sleeping mind of her unborn child.
In New York City, detective Luigi Mackeroni investigates a string of mysterious penile mutilations at the Hotel Quickie. After Mackeroni attempts to have a tryst with a gigolo he meets in the lobby, a carniverous condom bites off his right testicle and flees, which sets the detective off on a quest to stop the predatory prophylactic once and for all.
Three short stories linked by a stray cat that roams from one tale to the next, in this creepy triptych that begins as Dick tries to quit smoking by any means necessary. Next, we meet Johnny, an adulterous man who's forced by his lover's husband onto a building's hazardous ledge. Finally, Amanda is threatened by an evil gnome who throws suspicion on the family cat.
Oscar is a small fish whose big aspirations often get him into trouble. Meanwhile, Lenny is a great white shark with a surprising secret that no sea creature would guess: He's a vegetarian. When a lie turns Oscar into an improbable hero and Lenny becomes an outcast, the two form an unlikely friendship.
When their bus is crippled on the side of a deserted road, a team of high school athletes discover an opponent they cannot defeat – and may not survive.