Though definitely a guilty pleasure from the cheesy 80's of which I grew up, this is such outstandingly fun. It's so unique a cinematic experience, knowing what we know of Schwarzenegger's life and career the 34 years since, seeing him at this juncture, as he's just starting out. (No, I haven't seen 'Stay Hungry' yet.) Part of me always wishes he had simply stuck to these films (as well as the 'Terminator' series), and was still making them. In his prime, I dare you to find anyone better at this kind of material. Director Milius has a fine feel for the swords-and-sandals/fantasy worldscape this material requires. An excellent and underrated supporting cast is here at well to help Arnie out, too.
***"Sit here... SIT HERE"*** I was hugely disappointed by "Conan the Barbarian" (1982) when I first viewed it because it deviated too far from the blueprint established by creator Robert E. Howard. Yeah, they got many things right, but the things they got wrong ruined the film for me. Yet I’ve warmed up to it over time because one can’t deny the film’s merits. If you’re a fan of the books and the faithful comics, it’s important to realize going in that this is an ALTERNATIVE Conan, similar to Howard's, but far from a strict interpretation. The flaws mostly have to do with John Milius and Oliver Stone's deviation from Howard. Consider the opening sequence of Conan as a little boy on his father’s knee getting advice about the trustworthiness of the sword: Sorry, but the lad looks like an average soft suburbanite boy, not a tough kid that grew up in the wilds of Cimmeria, land of darkness and deep night. Secondly, the "wheel of pain" sequence is just dumb. I have a bit more respect for this part now that I realize it's a metaphor for the cyclical drudgery of grade school but, c'mon, the REAL Conan wouldn't spend that many years in captivity! He would have escaped long before, not to mention slay his captors. I suppose it helps when consider that Stone & Milius were taking bits from Howard’s other creations, like Kull, who was a slave for a few years. Thirdly, when they first meet Valeria while robbing the temple of Set the flick cops a decidedly campy tone. Although Sandahl Bergman is great throughout the rest of the picture that initial meeting is pretty cringe-inducing. It was at this point that I really tuned out when I first viewed the film. Fourthly, one of the worst parts is when Conan grovels at Thulsa Doom's feet crying, "You killed my father; you killed my mother!" This in no way resembles Howard's Conan. But, in its defense, it does make Conan more human and therefore more relate-able to the viewer. Thankfully, the film has several strengths, starting with the magnificent and awe-inspiring score by Basil Poledouris. The movie's worth viewing just to hear this score. Secondly, despite acceptable discrepancies (e.g. Conan has black hair not brown), the casting is quite good; although Schwarzenegger doesn’t really reflect the air of REH’s character (Jason Momoa is far better). Thirdly, Milius & Stone show their brilliance by incorporating Genghis Khan's historical quote in Conan's response to "What is best in life?" Conan answers: "To crush enemies, see dem driven before you and to hear da lamentation of der women." Fourthly, the locations, sets and costuming are superb. They certainly got the LOOK of Robert E. Howard's Hyborian Age right. Fifthly, As long as one is prepared to accept the deviation from Howard's Conan, the story keeps your interest throughout (which is my way of determining the worthiness of ANY flick). Sixthly, Sandahl Bergman is super sharp and sexy; she possesses a certain barbaric beauty essential to the role and it's hard not to gaze at her shapely form in awe when she's on screen. Lastly, the overall tone of the film is quite serious and brooding. Despite Valeria's initial campy sequence mentioned earlier and a couple of amusing scenes with Mako, the film eludes the rut of camp (unfortunately the 1984 sequel cannot boast of this quality). SPECIAL MOMENTS AND INTERESTING ITEMS: •The love scene between Conan & Valeria and, later, the death/funeral pyre scenes are reverent, beautiful and moving. The accompanying piece by Poledouris is emotionally potent. •Conan's spiritual evolution in regards to sexuality and love is interesting: His first exposure is as a slave when beautiful women are occasionally thrown to him for the amusement of those watching. After he acquires his freedom his first (and presumably only) experience with casual sex goes horribly wrong. Later in Zamora he dismisses the solicitations of prostitutes with a wave and a derogatory word. Finally he meets Valeria and discovers true love and commitment, conveyed well in the love/death/funeral scenes noted above. •Both the battles inside the mountain fortress and, later, the showdown at the mounds are thrilling with the accompanying score getting your blood pumping. •Right before the battle at the mounds Conan and Subotai brace themselves as the 'riders of doom' trot forth. You can see the bold determination on their faces: They have no other recourse; they will stand and fight as men, come what may. (All men will eventually have to stand and fight in this manner one way or another, and we wuss out at our own peril). •After their unlikely victory Conan raises his arms (and weapons) in salute to the altar where Valeria was cremated. It gives you goosebumps. Both "The Complete Quest" and "Collector's Edition" contain an excellent 55-minute "Making Of" documentary wherein all of the principle actors and creators are interviewed, as well as an excellent commentary by Milius and Schwarzenegger. FINAL ANALYSIS: Like I said, I've finally come to see the magnificence of "Conan the Barbarian," but I had to get over my hang ups concerning the deviations from Howard's Conan to see it. As an ALTERNATIVE Conan it's a nigh masterpiece of cinematic art. One last thing: Um, don't use that first line of dialogue ("Sit here... SIT HERE") on your wife or girlfriend; I tried it and she didn't take too kindly to it! The film runs 2 hours, 9 minutes, and was shot in Spain. GRADE: A-
A young officer in the army of Empress Catherine of Russia is on his way to his new duty station at a remote outpost. During a blinding snowstorm he comes upon a stranger who was caught in the storm and is near death from freezing. He rescues the man and eventually brings him back to health. When the man is well enough to travel, the two part company and the man vows to repay the officer for saving his life. Soon after he arrives at his new post, a revolt by the local Cossacks breaks out and the fort is besieged by the rebels. The young officer is astonished to find out that the leader of the rebellious Cossacks is none other than the stranger whose life he had saved during the storm.
Movie Star Rating : 5.2 Read More
Ordered to teach a martial arts class of rambunctious bunny kittens, Po tells stories of each of the Furious Five's pasts.
Movie Star Rating : 6.7 Read More
The warrior Deathstalker is tasked by an old witch lady to obtain and unite the three powers of creation - a chalice, an amulet, and a sword - lest the evil magician Munkar get them and use them for nefarious purposes. After obtaining the sword, Deathstalker joins with other travelers going to the Big Tournament to determine the strongest warrior. The false king holds the true princess in captivity, and plots to have Deathstalker killed, and Deathstalker must fight to free the princess.
Movie Star Rating : 4.8 Read More
Set during the period of growing influence of the Indian independence movement in the British Raj, the story begins with the arrival in India of a British woman, Miss Adela Quested, who is joining her fiancé, a city magistrate named Ronny Heaslop. She and Ronny's mother, Mrs. Moore, befriend an Indian doctor, Aziz H. Ahmed.
Movie Star Rating : 6.8 Read More
A vengeful man embarks on a murderous rampage after the kidnapping of a 7-year-old girl.
Movie Star Rating : 6.4 Read More
Mere seconds before the Earth is to be demolished by an alien construction crew, Arthur Dent is swept off the planet by his friend Ford Prefect, a researcher penning a new edition of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy."
Movie Star Rating : 6.7 Read More
A top Marine sniper, Bob Lee Swagger, leaves the military after a mission goes horribly awry and disappears, living in seclusion. He is coaxed back into service after a high-profile government official convinces him to help thwart a plot to kill the President of the United States. Ultimately double-crossed and framed for the attempt, Swagger becomes the target of a nationwide manhunt. He goes on the run to track the real killer and find out who exactly set him up, and why, eventually seeking revenge against some of the most powerful and corrupt leaders in the free world.
Movie Star Rating : 7.1 Read More
Professor of language and philosophy Dominic Matei is struck by lightning and ages backwards from 70 to 40 in a week, attracting the world and the Nazis. While on the run, the professor meets a young woman who has her own experience with a lightning storm. Not only does Dominic find love again, but her new abilities hold the key to his research.
Movie Star Rating : 6.1 Read More
The Beautiful Game 2024 - Movies (Mar 29th)
Heart of the Hunter 2024 - Movies (Mar 29th)
Madu 2024 - Movies (Mar 29th)
The Settlers 2023 - Movies (Mar 29th)
Lousy Carter 2023 - Movies (Mar 29th)
Godzilla x Kong The New Empire 2024 - Movies (Mar 28th)
Winnie-the-Pooh Blood and Honey 2 2024 - Movies (Mar 28th)
Even Hell Has Its Heroes 2023 - Movies (Mar 28th)
Falling in Love in Niagara 2024 - Movies (Mar 28th)
Silent Night 2023 - Movies (Mar 28th)
Double Soul 2023 - Movies (Mar 28th)
Haunting of the Queen Mary 2023 - Movies (Mar 28th)
Uproar 2023 - Movies (Mar 28th)
Peter Five Eight 2024 - Movies (Mar 28th)
Windcatcher 2024 - Movies (Mar 27th)
The Truth vs. Alex Jones 2024 - Movies (Mar 27th)
Easter Evil 2024 - Movies (Mar 27th)
The Iron Claw 2023 - Movies (Mar 26th)
Kung Fu Panda 4 2024 - Movies (Mar 26th)
The Book of Clarence 2023 - Movies (Mar 26th)
Molli and Max in the Future 2023 - Movies (Mar 26th)
Dogs Behaving (Very) Badly - (Mar 29th)
Home of the Year - (Mar 29th)
Deal or No Deal - (Mar 29th)
The 11th Hour with Stephanie Ruhle - (Mar 29th)
The Last Word with Lawrence ODonnell - (Mar 29th)
The Kelly Clarkson Show - (Mar 29th)
Renters - (Mar 29th)
Motorway Patrol - (Mar 29th)
The First 48 Presents Critical Minutes - (Mar 29th)
Theresa Caputo- Raising Spirits - (Mar 29th)
The Cook Up with Adam Liaw - (Mar 29th)
ROH On HonorClub - (Mar 29th)
Taking the Stand - (Mar 29th)
The Trades - (Mar 29th)
Family Guy - (Mar 29th)
We Were the Lucky Ones - (Mar 29th)
Royal Crackers - (Mar 29th)
Summer House - (Mar 29th)
The Nature of Things - (Mar 29th)
Manhunt - (Mar 29th)