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Match of the Day 2 - (Feb 23rd)
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Heaven Help Us! Directed by Gary Nelson, Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold re-teams Richard Chamberlain and Sharon Stone from J. Lee Thomson's 1985 version of King Solomon's Mines, with equally bad results. Based on the creations of H. Rider Haggard, the emergence of Allan Quatermain onto the screen again was a desperate attempt to grab the coat tails of one Indiana Jones' success. Given how bad King Solomon's Mines (1985) was, you would be forgiven for wondering how on earth a sequel was given the go ahead, but this is explained by the fact both films were filmed back to back. More's the pity. Plot has Quartermain and his lady Jesse Huston off on some adventure to find Quartermain's lost brother at the fabled Lost City of Gold. Along for the ride are Umslopogaas (James Earl Jones) an axe wielding warrior, Swarma (Robert Donner) a nutty spiritual guru, and some other no mark plebians. What they find is a whole bunch of trouble via creatures and a despotic high priest (Henry Silva). Action is badly staged, effects work poor, while acting and dialogue is woefully inept (Chamberlain cheese sandwich/Stone shrill/Silva and Donner embarrassing). The best "Z" grade movies have fans and entertain because they know what they are, unfortunately this doesn't, it genuinely thinks it's a great adventure movie. Even the musical score is insulting, credited to Michael Linn, he basically just hacks into Jerry Goldsmith's score for "Mines", and produces a piece that is just two chords away from John Barry's iconic Indiana Jones music. As for the racist undertones... Bad film making. Period. 2/10
_**Fun sequel with a great cast doesn’t have the same magic**_ Quatermain & Jesse (Richard Chamberlain & Sharon Stone) are about to travel to America to get married when Allan learns that his brother is missing after an expedition. They team-up with a powerful warrior (James Earl Jones) and a spiritual con (Richard Donner) to journey to remote east Africa where they find a lost city of gold. Henry Silva shows up as a malevolent priest while Cassandra Peterson (aka Elivra) plays a dark queen. "Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold" (1986) is the sequel to “King Solomon’s Mines” (1985), both knock-offs of “Raiders of the Lost Ark” (1981), but it lacks the magic that made “King Solomon’s Mines” an exhilarating ‘B’ adventure. It has the same fun tone, Chamberlain & Stone, excellent locations and colorful or cheesy props/effects/sets, but it has a different director and cowriter. It’s just nowhere near as compelling and is sometimes tedious. But the notable cast looks like they had fun and you can’t go wrong with the magnificent Cassandra Peterson, who has no lines; she just stands around looking great, albeit angry and mean. Stunning blonde Aileen Marson is also on hand in her one-and-only role. The film runs 1 hour, 39 minutes and was shot in Oudtshoorn, South Africa; Zimbabwe (Victoria Falls); and Laird International Studio, Culver City, California (e.g. river-cave scenes). GRADE: C
It's Henry Silva who steals the scenes here as the maniacal High Priest "Agon" who meets gold-hunting explorers "Quatermain" (Richard Chamberlain) and "Jesse" (Sharon Stone) who are looking for someone. This time, it's his long long brother who has gone awol after reading the script and deciding that deepest Africa was probably best instead. Determined not to share the blame alone, the others head off on a search that introduces them to the axe-wielding "Umslopogaas" (James Earl Jones) and sees them having to deal with the perils of the wilderness. Now to be fair, at least they made an attempt to liven it up by heading to Zimbabwe for the filming, and that photography showcases this beautiful terrain and it's wildlife to full effect. Stone also has a go, here, and could never be accused of underplaying her part, but the rest of the cast deliver something that really reminded me of one of the Johnny Weissmuller "Tarzan" films that had a far-fetched, stereotype-riddled, plot. Indeed, it might have worked slightly better had it been in black and white - at least that might have helped out illustrating some of cultural and superstitious elements of this whilst making it slightly harder to see the wires holding the star as he engages in one too many set-piece action scenes that the editing doesn't exactly help. It's a film that out of it's time, this one, and is probably best this stays as lost as they city they are seeking.
Killjoy, the demon of vengeance, trickster god and killer clown has finally made it to Earth! Along with his gruesome crew Freakshow, Punchy and the sexy/psychotic Batty Boop, Killjoy is free to terrorize mortals in new and excruciating ways.
Three of the original five "young guns" — Billy the Kid, Jose Chavez y Chavez, and Doc Scurlock — return in Young Guns, Part 2, which is the story of Billy the Kid and his race to safety in Old Mexico while being trailed by a group of government agents led by Pat Garrett.
A young British officer resigns his post when he learns of his regiment's plan to ship out to the Sudan for the conflict with the Mahdi. His friends and fiancée send him four white feathers as symbols of what they view as his cowardice. To redeem his honor, he disguises himself as an Arab and secretly saves their lives.
Summoned from an ashram in Tibet, Ace finds himself on a perilous journey into the jungles of Africa to find Shikaka, the missing sacred animal of the friendly Wachati tribe. He must accomplish this before the wedding of the Wachati's Princess to the prince of the warrior Wachootoos. If Ace fails, the result will be a vicious tribal war.
A British multinational company seeks to overthrow a vicious dictator in central Africa. It hires a band of (largely aged) mercenaries in London and sends them in to save the virtuous but imprisoned opposition leader who is also critically ill and due for execution. Just when the team has performed a perfect rescue, the multinational does a deal with the vicious dictator leaving the mercenary band to escape under their own steam and exact revenge.
Flight 23 has crashed in the Bermuda Triangle after a hijacking gone wrong. Now the surviving passengers must brave panic, slow leaks, oxygen depletion, and more while attempting a daring plan, all while 200 feet underwater.
When a treasure hunter seeks a downed airplane in the jungles of Africa, he encounters one of the passenger's young daughter, now fully grown, and with a gorilla protector.
Nearly thirty years after the strange disappearance of a Canadian baseball team, a recovered VHS tape reveals their shocking final moments as they're hunted down by a backwoods psychopath.
Three siblings who detest each other and hiking must complete together a pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela in order to be eligible to inherit their mother's wealth.
Starts off in the 15th century, with Connor McLeod training with another immortal swordsman, the Japanese sorcerer Nakano. When an evil immortal named Kane kills the old wizard, the resulting battle leaves him buried in an underground cave. When Kane resurfaces in the 20th century to create havoc, it's up to McLeod to stop him.
A socially awkward and volatile small business owner meets the love of his life after being threatened by a gang of scammers.