Wir hau'n die Pauker in die Pfanne

Want to know what a successful day in the life of the little asshole looks like? Yes? Well, after you have successfully disturbed your parents' lovemaking, you concentrate on your own libido. This, slightly disturbed, forces you to strain the weak heart of pensioner Mrs. Koschmidder with unambiguous offers.

New rules enforced by the Lady Mayoress mean that sex, weight, height and intelligence need no longer be a factor for joining the Police Force. This opens the floodgates for all and sundry to enter the Police Academy, much to the chagrin of the instructors. Not everyone is there through choice, though. Social misfit Mahoney has been forced to sign up as the only alternative to a jail sentence and it doesn't take long before he falls foul of the boorish Lieutenant Harris. But before long, Mahoney realises that he is enjoying being a police cadet and decides he wants to stay... while Harris decides he wants Mahoney out!

Flat-dwelling urban family win a pig in a raffle, and decide to keep it. They lose their flat (no pets allowed) but eventually Rudi the pig makes good.

After discovering they are all dating the same same guy, three popular students from different cliques band together for revenge, so they enlist the help of a new gal in town and conspire to break the jerk's heart, while destroying his reputation.

Down-on-their luck brothers, Lars and Ernie Smuntz, aren't happy with the crumbling old mansion they inherit... until they discover the estate is worth millions. Before they can cash in, they have to rid the house of its single, stubborn occupant—a tiny and tenacious mouse.

When his brother asks him to look after his young son, Clifford, Martin Daniels agrees, taking the boy into his home and introducing him to his future wife, Sarah. Clifford is fixated on the idea of visiting a famed theme park, and Martin, an engineer who helped build the park, makes plans to take him. But, when Clifford reveals himself to be a first-rate brat, his uncle goes bonkers, and a loony inter-generational standoff ensues.

Humiliated and down on his luck, a superintendent turns his life around when he decides to write a book.

Having first lost his wife then his job as a tweed tailor, Alex Ponttin has devised a novel way to keep himself in touch with society. He admits himself into people's homes, by pretending to be a relative or an official, and persuading his victims to give him a night's free board: He finds at first a lunch at the horrible couple Dumont, where a thief follows him for a robbery. Alex spent an evening in front of TV at Marie, mother of seven children. He runs from Marie to find an evening and a new bed at the home of charming but shy lesbian Caroline and her funny lover Gloria. To save her inheritance, Caroline - accused for her homosexuality by her horrible sister Catherine - tells her aunt Amélie, that Gloria is her secretary and Alex her lover. So Alex has to present himself nude in Caroline's bed. He saves Carolines inheritance. The police officers investigating the case are so terminally stupid that Alex has little chance of being arrested.

Handsome Jules has problems with school and girls. His domineering dad doesn't make matters easier, although his mom is supportive of her only child. Contemplating an extramarital affair, Claude Jade attempts to discreetly shop for condoms, a cute twist on what is traditionally a teenage boy's awkward ordeal.

The students of a local school unite in mutiny against their headmaster and two teachers.