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The _Transformers_ franchise has never been good. Some say that the series is "Dumb fun with good action and cool explosions. To me, that could maybe be used to describe only the third movie. The first one is promising and has a certain "child-like-wonder" appeal. But neither of them are truly **good**. The second _Transformers_ is meaningless garbage. But when _Age of Extinction_ was released in 2014, the franchise hit new, abysmal lows. Watching _Transformers_ wasn't just a chore, it wasn't just boring, it was excruciating. It was so bad I felt nauseous. I was aggravated to the point of brimming with feelings of genuine anger. They say that if a film makes you feel something, that is a victory in itself. Be it sadness, excitement, intrigue, joy, hope, nostalgia, hysteria, love, fear, warmth - whatever - I tend to agree with that statement. What I felt in _Age of Extinction_ was not a victory. It was a failure. A Guinness Book of World Records level failure. _Transformers: The Last Knight_, is at least that bad again. Arguably worse. I guess it didn't dedicate an entire character to being a justification for paedophilia, so it has that up on its predecessor. _Final rating:½ - So bad it’s offensive. I may never fully recover._
Not surprisingly I expected this, the fifth installment, of the Transformers franchise to be pretty much crap. Especially after the abysmal fourth installment. To my great surprise I found it to be much less crappy than I expected. I honestly do not understand why so many people seems to think this is one of the worst movies ever. The critics sure, especially the ones at Rotten Tomatoes, but I do not really care about those self proclaimed "critics". Ordinary viewers is another matter. I mean, this is a transformers movie and it is directed by Michael Bay. That pretty much defines the movie from the start so what the heck did all those people complaining actually expect? That Michael Bay should suddenly care about things like script and stuff or anything else except big robots, special effects and explosions? Personally I quite enjoyed this movie. Well, enjoyed in the context of watching a Transformers movie that is. I enjoyed the special effects, the robots, even the lousy jokes. I did enjoy the tie in to the Pendragon myth and I thought the somewhat bizarre Sir Edmund Burton and his even more bizarre robot butler was great fun. I laughed outright when I saw the World War 1 tank transformer. I was expecting the submarine transformer to actually transform though. Maybe all those detractors of this movie are missing the bimbo with two and a half brain cells (yes I am being generous now) that used to be the lead female character in the Transformers movies but personally I quite liked that the leads in this movie was much more mature and actually showed some evidence of intelligence. The story? Well, for a Transformers movie it is quite good. In any other context it would be somewhat...lacking. It did screw quite a bit with the Transformers timeline established in the first movies though. Oh, and for some nitpicking, the maximum operating altitude of those airplanes they used is 21 000 feet, not 12 000 feet. Bottom line, I had great fun when watching this movie. With my low, and I mean LOW, initial expectations I was very pleasantly surprised. It is definitely a huge improvement over the fourth instalment.
Soulless garbage. Must have been written in less then 15 minutes. How hard can it be to write an entertaining film about transforming alien robots? If you're Michael Bay, very hard indeed. And the jokes. Wow. The jokes. I cringed after each and everyone. So many attempts at humour falling flat on their faces and smashing all of their teeth on the floor. The makers of this movie should be forced into exile.
You know what? I didn't hate this one. Indeed I think it might actually be my favourite! Naturally alarm bells go off when you think your hear Sir Anthony Hopkins doing the narration. Surely not? As this latest outing for the unidentifiable mechanised battle-mongers takes shapes, though, there is actually a bit more of a story underpinning it. Of course there is a secret, all-powerful gizmo for them to discover and fight over and this time we drag in Arthurian legend, Stonehenge and a belted earl in the form of Sir Anthony. This film does have a sense of imminent conclusion to it too as "Optimus" sets off in search of his duplicitous creator "Quintessa" (Gemma Chan) with a view to a showdown that will secure the future of Earth for ever. Meantime, "Cade" (still Mark Wahlberg) and "Lennox" (a well past his best Josh Duhamel) are going through the combat motions as the legendary staff of "Merlin" has to stay out of the hands of the dastardly "Decepticons". This has more of it's tongue in it's cheek, it's less intense and takes itself less seriously than some of the others in the series. We still have to endure the rather supercilious monologues from the increasingly pompous "Prime" but this, for me at any rate, had more of a substantial sense of adventure to it. As usual, the casting - Laura Haddock is terrible - isn't up to much but keep an eye out for Stanley Tucci who clearly couldn't get enough after the last film and so comes back for a brief cameo here. It's rotten, forgettable and ought to be the last of these - but I still rather grudgingly engaged with it a bit more.
Amiable slackers Bill and Ted are once again roped into a fantastical adventure when De Nomolos, a villain from the future, sends evil robot duplicates of the two lads to terminate and replace them. The robot doubles actually succeed in killing Bill and Ted, but the two are determined to escape the afterlife, challenging the Grim Reaper to a series of games in order to return to the land of the living.
The Autobots must stop a colossal planet-consuming robot who goes after the Autobot Matrix of Leadership. At the same time, they must defend themselves against an all-out attack from the Decepticons.
Young teenager Sam Witwicky becomes involved in the ancient struggle between two extraterrestrial factions of transforming robots – the heroic Autobots and the evil Decepticons. Sam holds the clue to unimaginable power and the Decepticons will stop at nothing to retrieve it.
Captain Jack Sparrow crosses paths with a woman from his past, and he's not sure if it's love - or if she's a ruthless con artist who's using him to find the fabled Fountain of Youth. When she forces him aboard the Queen Anne's Revenge, the ship of the formidable pirate Blackbeard, Jack finds himself on an unexpected adventure in which he doesn't know who to fear more: Blackbeard or the woman from his past.
Jerry uses a robot mouse to snatch a sample from a lunar cheese mine being mined by robots; Tom gives chase with a robot cat.
A compilation of shorts, diverse experimental content and more weird stuff spread directly from the devious mind of the South African film director Neill Blomkamp. Includes: Rakka, Firebase, Zygote, Kapture-Fluke, Cooking with Bill, Praetoria, God and Gdansk.
After his wife dies, a blacksmith named Balian is thrust into royalty, political intrigue and bloody holy wars during the Crusades.
After overhearing a shocking secret, precocious orphan Lyra Belacqua trades her carefree existence roaming the halls of Jordan College for an otherworldly adventure in the far North, unaware that it's part of her destiny.
Richard Martin buys a gift, a new NDR-114 robot. The product is named Andrew by the youngest of the family's children. "Bicentennial Man" follows the life and times of Andrew, a robot purchased as a household appliance programmed to perform menial tasks. As Andrew begins to experience emotions and creative thought, the Martin family soon discovers they don't have an ordinary robot.
Due to a spacecraft malfunction, saleryman Ryu and his robot companion "MOS-01" crash land on the space ship/planet Gdleen. Ryu meets a cute Euredonian fairy called Fana and the two are soon entangled in a long standing war between the monsterous Babaress and the spell casting Miyorl tribes.
After a lightning bolt zaps a robot named Number 5, the lovable machine starts to think he's human and escapes the lab. Hot on his trail is his designer, Newton, who hopes to get to Number 5 before the military does. In the meantime, a spunky animal lover mistakes the robot for an alien and takes him in, teaching her new guest about life on Earth.