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The Divorce Insurance - (Apr 1st)
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How bizarre is it that the only _Leprechaun_ movie that has any sort of continuity to the original, is also the only one that doesn't have the same actor playing the titular leprechaun. This one's actually not too bad though. The new guy does a pretty good job in those tiny little shoes. _Final rating:★★½ - Had a lot that appealed to me, didn’t quite work as a whole._
Since I’m on sick leave recovering from surgery I had last week and pretty immobile not to mention bored as hell I’ve of course been using up a fair amount of streaming bandwidth. The more bored, the poorer my choices have been so last evening, I am sad to say, I turned on the brain dead gore feast that goes under the name Leprechaun Returns. This is a SyFy “exclusive” so of course my hopes were pretty low from the start but what the hell, I felt like watching a gore feast so… Well, to sum it up, it was pretty bad. Worse however, the movie felt like a really missed opportunity. There were some bits that was actually cool or at least somewhat funny but the movie as a hole was ruined by really shitty script writing and pretty mediocre acting. The story could of course be written in a few paragraphs. It’s paper thin but I guess, for this kind of movie, it is adequate. There are the usual characters of course, the sexy chick, the dumbass alcoholic chick, some suitably unintelligent guys that doesn’t think about anything than sex and so on. In this movie they added a naïve eco-fanatic that cannot act and just grates on you. The heroin is probably the only character that is moderately normal. Then there’s the Leprechaun of course. He is pretty much the only thing that makes the movie worthwhile to watch. He was actually quite cool. A perfect character for a horror/comedy. Unfortunately everything else was mostly rubbish. The constant harping by the eco-lunatic about having to work, the constant boozing by the dumbass chick. And how many times did the sexy chick say that she wouldn’t sleep with the dumbest of the guys and then did it anyway? I lost count. Of course we also had the usual moments of stupidity that only a really shitty Hollywood script writer can produce. For instance the guy that was just standing there staring at the drone coming closer and closer for minutes. A drone capable of cutting through not just the throat but the entire f… neck with its propellers of someone just added to the stupidity of course. At least there were some moments which was satisfying. Like when the dumbass chick that thought she made a deal in her alcohol haze learned “not lay a hand on you” is not the same thing as “not kill you”. Then as I wrote, a lot of the scenes with the Leprechaun was rather funny. So it is a bit sad actually. With a half decent story/script writer this could have been a quite decent, maybe even good, comedy/horror movie. Now it will just be relegated the the growing heap of SyFy junk movies.
I guess the jokes didn't land so... It doesn't really feel like part of the franchise when it doesn't have that mix of absurd humor and horror. It felt almost cute and not ridiculous and I left it feeling robbed
Connie, a park ranger, brings her niece into the woods near the site of several past tragedies and hate crimes, one of which involved her. Her attempt at closure is interrupted by a sinister, deadly presence that is still lurking nearby.
After a wealthy philanthropist expresses an unusual interest in a ring found by her niece Annabelle, Miss Fritton explains that she's descended from a pirate who, in 1598, stole treasure from another: the philanthropist's ancestor. This discovery sends the racuous girls of St. Trinians on the hunt for buried treasure.
Best friends Galleria, Chanel, Dorinda, and Aqua, A.K.A. the girl band "The Cheetahs," get the opportunity of a lifetime when they strut their way to Barcelona, Spain, to perform in an international music festival. Along the way, the "amigas Cheetahs" learn that, although their paths are not the same, they are lucky to have one another for the journey.
FBI agent Malcolm Turner and his 17-year-old son Trent go undercover at an all-girls performing arts school after Trent witnesses a murder. Posing as Big Momma and Charmaine, they must find the murderer before he finds them.
A number of vicious murders occur in a small California town after a motorcycle-riding stranger arrives. The gruesome slayings look disturbingly like the work of a werewolf. Meanwhile, in another nearby town, police are hot on the trail of a killer they believe is a werewolf.
An American journalist stationed in Japan is given a mysterious injection by a mad scientist, turning him into a murderous, two-headed monster.
A poverty stricken woman starts a restaurant where she slaughters people and serves up human flesh, cut from her victims.
Two years after she escaped a violent attack on her family, 16-year-old Becky attempts to rebuild her life in the care of an older woman - a kindred spirit named Elena. However, when a violent group known as the Noble Men break into their home, attack them and take their beloved dog, Becky must return to her old ways to protect herself and her loved ones.
Jen and a group of friends set out to hike the Appalachian Trail. Despite warnings to stick to the trail, the hikers stray off course—and cross into land inhabited by The Foundation, a hidden community of mountain dwellers who use deadly means to protect their way of life.
In the late 19th century, a brutal land baron slaughters a Roma clan, unleashing a curse on his family and village. In the days that follow, the townspeople are plagued by nightmares, the baron's son goes missing, and a boy is found murdered. The locals suspect a wild animal, but a visiting pathologist warns of a more sinister presence lurking in the woods.
The people of a small village believe they have an evil creature called an Impaktita living among them.