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Blood Free - (Apr 24th)
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I think Leslie Nielsen ought to have re-considered his involvement with this really cringe-making comedy. His "Agent Dick" and "WD40" monikers are the stuff of "Carry On" films, and the rest of the humour and dialogue is almost as childish. It's a "Bond" spoof, right from the Maurice Binder-inspired titles, but the plot is far inferior to even the worst of Ian Fleming's works. Nicolette Sheridan ("Ukrinsky") does her best as his Russian counterpart as they both seek out a not-so-ruthless "Rancor" (Andy Griffith) who, of course, wants to take over the world - but the ensuing escapades border all to often on the ridiculously slapstick. The juice has already been well and truly squeezed from the "Drebin" style of hapless character with the daft expressions and double-entendre ridden lines; and this film seems to go on for far longer than the eighty minutes running time. Maybe it just serves to remind us how entertaining the "Naked Gun" franchise was in the beginning, but I can see little else to applaud with this poorly thought out and really derivative attempt at entertainment.
In October of 1994, a quartet of filmmakers disappeared into the woods just outside the Emerald City while shooting a documentary about the Wicked Witch Of the West. A year later, their footage was found. Aspiring filmmaker Dorothy Gale arrives in a strange new place after a cyclone hits her beloved Kansas. Enchanted with her new surroundings, she ventures into the nearby woods with her companions to make a documentary about The Wicked Witch of the West, a popular urban legend. She and her friends are never seen again, though their footage inexplicably turns up in a local video store one year later.
Popeye sits down to make a cartoon. He shows the results to Olive and his nephews: it's a damsel-in-distress scenario, starring him and Olive, with live music and sound effects by Popeye.
The lord and lady of a capacious manor are killed, and the lord's ghost seems to have returned to knock off the staff one by one, causing Inspector Winship and Dr. Tart to investigate the wacky house and its inhabitants.
The filmmaking team behind the hits "Scary Movie," "Date Movie," "Epic Movie" and "Meet The Spartans" this time puts its unique, inimitable stamp on one of the biggest and most bloated movie genres of all time - the disaster film.
A movie within a movie, created to spoof the martial arts genre. Writer/director Steve Oedekerk uses contemporary characters and splices them into a 1970s kung-fu film, weaving the new and old together. As the main character, The Chosen One, Oedekerk sets off to avenge the deaths of his parents at the hands of kung-fu legend Master Pain. Along the way he encounters some strange characters.
When a lawyer shows up at the vampire's doorstep, he falls prey to his charms and joins him in his search for fresh blood. Enter Professor Van Helsing, who may be the only one able to vanquish the Count.
Trying to rescue her home planet from destruction, a gorgeous extraterrestrial named Celeste arrives on Earth and begins her scientific research. She woos quirky scientist Dr. Steve Mills, a widower with a young daughter. Before long, Celeste finds herself in love with Steve and her new life on Earth, where she experiences true intimacy for the first time. But when she loses sight of her mission, she begins to question where she belongs.
Sir James Bond is called back out of retirement to stop SMERSH. In order to trick SMERSH, James thinks up the ultimate plan - that every agent will be named 'James Bond'. One of the Bonds, whose real name is Evelyn Tremble is sent to take on Le Chiffre in a game of baccarat, but all the Bonds get more than they can handle.
The team behind Scary Movie takes on the comic book genre in this tale of Rick Riker, a nerdy teen imbued with superpowers by a radioactive dragonfly. And because every hero needs a nemesis, enter Lou Landers, aka the villainously goofy Hourglass.
Chappy Sinclair is called to gather together a mixed Soviet/U.S. strike force that will perform a surgical strike on a massively defended nuclear missile site in the Middle East. Chappy finds that getting the Soviet and U.S. Pilots to cooperate is only the most minor of his problems as he discovers someone in the Pentagon is actively sabotaging his mission.
Following a bomb scare in the 1960s that locked the Webers into their bomb shelter for 35 years, Adam now ventures forth into Los Angeles to obtain food and supplies for his family, and a non-mutant wife for himself.