It never manages to rise above its one trick. Nicolas Winding Refn directs and Mads Mikkelsen stars in this ponderous exercise in arty veneers. Refn boldly strips back the dialogue and plot to reveal a picture big on ideas but poor in execution. As the story plods along, stopping only briefly for some guttural violence now and then, it becomes evident that the makers have made a painfully boring movie. At first the drained out colour photography looks like a masterstroke of ethereal atmospherics, but this also wears off and only compounds the overall feeling of monotony that pervades the pic. Hugely disappointing venture from a director capable of so much more. 3/10
Twilight of the grim, grey… um… RELEASED IN 2009 and directed by Nicolas Winding Refn, "Valhalla Rising” takes place in the 11th century where a one-eyed mute thrall (Mads Mikkelsen) obtains his freedom in the Scottish Highlands and joins a band of Viking Christians on a voyage to the Holy Land to fight in the Crusades, but the expedition doesn’t go as planned. The movie definitely LOOKS and SOUNDS awesome with an ambient score reminiscent of Agalloch, but without the heavy riffing or manic drumming. It’s an artsy non-blockbuster with a tone akin to "Aguirre, The Wrath of God" (1972) and "Black Robe" (1991). “Apocalypto” (2006) is a good modern comparison, although the story isn't as compelling as “Black Robe” or “Apocalypto.” It has elements of “Apocalypse Now” (1979) but the thin story just isn’t anywhere near as fascinating. Still, it’s okay. There are some weak points, like the Viking chief saying "It's a river" when this would've been obvious about an hour earlier when the mist first cleared (aduh). I'm sure the director would chalk it up to artistic license. Another issue is that the film is slow with not enough events to justify its runtime. As such, we get needlessly drawn-out scenes like the discovery of fresh water (which was obvious from the get-go of the sequence). The whole episode could’ve been done in a third of the time given. THE MOVIE RUNS 1 hour, 33 minutes and was shot in Scotland. WRITERS: Refn, Roy Jacobsen and Matthew Read. GRADE: B INTERPRETATION ***SPOILER ALERT*** (Don’t read further unless you’ve seen the movie). The silent One-Eye is the incarnation of Odin. He is invincible and holds the power to see the future. He disdains the Christian Vikings who’ve usurped his influence over his people. He tests many in battle to see if they’re worthy, but finds none. Nevertheless, he sullenly sees his people off to their new (holy) land, America, where Scandinavians were the third most numerous immigrants. The Boy is a type of Thor, his son, who will sort of replace him in America once the grim god ironically sacrifices himself à la Jesus Christ.
Rubbish! A true waste of 90 minutes... and of Mads Mikkelsen! It evidently attempts similar as to what we would later see in 2022 with (the excellent) 'The Northman', though simply falls flat in every department for me. The whole production just looks so cheap and low-budget (which it wasn't), without even noting the (admittedly intended) pure misery of the look of it all too. Editing, notably with the needless chapter breaks, is also a negative. As mentioned already, a mute Mikkelsen is completedly wasted... may as well have cast Joe Bloggs. The rest of the cast have very little to work with either, though minutely interesting to see Gary Lewis and Jamie Sives involved. I wouldn't say anyone onscreen deteriorates the film (it does so itself), but they also don't do anything to improve it either. I was anticipating 'Valhalla Rising' to be an entertaining one. It wasn't. Thankfully they had the awareness (or were restricted?) in keeping it 'short' at 90 minutes... a dreary 90mins, albeit.
In the late 1970s, Cockney crime boss Harold Shand, a gangster trying to become a legitimate property mogul, has big plans to get the American Mafia to bankroll his transformation of a derelict area of London into the possible venue for a future Olympic Games. However, a series of bombings targets his empire on the very weekend the Americans are in town. Shand is convinced there is a traitor in his organization, and sets out to eliminate the rat in typically ruthless fashion.
Movie Star Rating : 7.1 Read More
An obscure Eastern cult that practices human sacrifice pursues Ringo after he unknowingly puts on a ceremonial ring (that, of course, won't come off). On top of that, a pair of mad scientists, members of Scotland Yard, and a beautiful but dead-eyed assassin all have their own plans for the Fab Four.
Movie Star Rating : 6.9 Read More
When man-eating Titans first appeared 100 years ago, humans found safety behind massive walls that stopped the giants in their tracks. But the safety they have had for so long is threatened when a colossal Titan smashes through the barriers, causing a flood of the giants into what had been the humans' safe zone.
Movie Star Rating : 8.1 Read More
Shot and left for dead by the commune of murderers and thieves who raised him, an 18 year-old pure-bred killer must trek across the lawless desert waste to exact his revenge and rid the world of their evil.
Movie Star Rating : 4.5 Read More
a Sad Man sits alone in his house longing for company.
Movie Star Rating : 8.5 Read More
Das Experiment is a shocking psycho thriller about the potential for brutality that humans hide. Even more shocking is the fact that it’s based on an actual occurrence — a 1971 psychological experiment at Stanford University that was aborted prematurely when the experimenters lost control.
Movie Star Rating : 7.4 Read More
A pragmatic U.S. Marine observes the dehumanizing effects the U.S.-Vietnam War has on his fellow recruits from their brutal boot camp training to the bloody street fighting in Hue.
Movie Star Rating : 8.1 Read More
A graphic portrayal of the last twelve hours of Jesus of Nazareth's life.
Movie Star Rating : 7.5 Read More
Nathan Algren is an American hired to instruct the Japanese army in the ways of modern warfare, which finds him learning to respect the samurai and the honorable principles that rule them. Pressed to destroy the samurai's way of life in the name of modernization and open trade, Algren decides to become an ultimate warrior himself and to fight for their right to exist.
Movie Star Rating : 7.6 Read More
After losing their academic posts at a prestigious university, a team of parapsychologists goes into business as proton-pack-toting "ghostbusters" who exterminate ghouls, hobgoblins and supernatural pests of all stripes. An ad campaign pays off when a knockout cellist hires the squad to purge her swanky digs of demons that appear to be living in her refrigerator.
Movie Star Rating : 7.5 Read More
Un Chien Andalou is an European avant-garde surrealist film, a collaboration between director Luis Buñuel and Salvador Dali.
Movie Star Rating : 7.5 Read More
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