The Pirates

From Richard Gale, mad maker of CRITICIZED, comes a film that will never have you looking at cutlery the same way again. Set-up as an epic-length trailer for an upcoming release, HORRIBLY SLOW... depicts a man's endless pursuit by what has got to be one of the most determined and patient murderers the screen has ever seen.

Stacey is an executive in a cosmetic and fashion company. Expecting a big promotion and crushed when her roommate, Lisa gets it instead, Stacey plans her revenge. Unknown to her boss and her fellow co-worker, Robin, Stacey has developed a shrinking ray with the help of Dr. Baines. She confronts Lisa first, shrinks her down to bite size and devours her. To eliminating any witnesses, Stacey eats Dr. Baines and then turns her attention to Robin and her boss, Trish. Each of them is reduced in size and then EATEN ALIVE!

When the paperhangers go on strike, guests at a newlyweds' housewarming party try to finish the job with disastrous results.

A tale about isolation and lack of communication, the gap between the reality a teenage boy lives, and how he would like it be. He has a secret that he would like to tell his family, something that he has come to terms with and is about to affect the rest of his life. But how will they react?

Sitting in a theater box, Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy make comments between the acts of a vaudeville show.

As Pacworlders excitedly decorate for Berry Day, Pac is saddened about missing his parents as he receives a picture ornament of them from his Aunt Spheria. The teens reminisce of their childhood Berry Day as they enjoy Christmas eggnog. Since Berry Day is one of the happiest days of the year, Betrayus launches a plan to get rid of the day by capturing Santa Pac and his Round Deer and to possess the gifts and Berry Day decorations. All Pac wants for Berry Day is to see his parents Sunny and Zac and is overjoyed when they arrive. But, his parents tell him they want to see the tree of life in the secret location which is forbidden. Are these Pac’s real parents or are they a trick from Betrayus and Dr. Slimestein? Let’s hope Berry Day can be merry after all.

A Salesman tries to locate a notorious Mexican bandit.

The scene is a parlor out West, with Ray Mayer sitting at the piano in is cowboy duds - hat, scarf, and chaps. He plays a little barrel-house music and then introduces Edith Evans, who enters wearing fur. She sings - her voice a light-opera soprano - while Mayer plays.

The comedy team of Jack Born and Elmer Lawrence perform their vaudeville act.

Comedian Chaz Chase performs his vaudeville act.

Eddie White performs his vaudeville act.