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**The following is a long form review that I originally wrote in 2012.** The movie is incredibly convoluted, so it's hard to know what to say that definitely won't end up being a spoiler, so maybe it would be better if I just stuck to talking about the actors, as it's a crazy bunch of them for McDonagh to bring together. Don't believe the trailer, and certainly don't believe the posters. _Seven Psychopaths_ has nothing to do with either of them. Olga Kurylenko (_Max Payne, Quantum of Solace_) is shamefully under-used, but at least Martin McDonagh acknowledges that his film's female characters are not a focus point, and their weakness is his own failing (in a rather surreal way). I've adored her ever since I first saw her in _Hitman_, and was absolutely blown away by her _Centurion_ performance. Though she does practically nothing here, it's always fantastic to see her get more work (particularly in such a great film). Woody Harrelson (_Natural Born Killers_, _Defendor_) has also been one I've kept my eye on for some time now. He's a believable psychopath, a strong actor, a funny dude and he has great presence. I've yet to be annoyed by him. Ever. Sam Rockwell (_Choke, Iron Man 2_) has only recently gained my appreciation, but fuck is he great. I'd seen him and loved him in so many things before, but I never drew the connection. Now in _Seven Psychopaths_, I feel he has his strongest role to date, moreover, he is certainly the greatest character of the film. Abbie Cornish (_Limitless, Sucker Punch_) is Australian. I'm Australian. So there's that... No, she's great, I just never really locked her in as a favourite like I do with so many others. Again, in _Seven Psychopaths_, that's not fault of her own. The script allows little room for women, which is unfortunate, but well handled. She gets much more screen time that Olga Kurylenko, but it would still have been good to get more of her. Christopher Walken (_Pulp Fiction, Sleepy Hollow_) is the sort of guy that I'd watch a movie just 'cause he's in it, and I don't even know why. Collin Farrell (_In Bruges, Fright Night_) meshes with me spectacularly poorly. It's hardly like I hate the guy or anything. He's a perfectly adequate actor with a great accent, I guess I just never got the hype. He manages to be the star of _Seven Psychopaths_, but have the show stolen out from under him by pretty much everyone else on screen. It's rare that I give a film a rating of 80% or more, so if that means anything to you at all, then I implore thee, go watch _Seven Psychopaths_, it's well worth the price. 84% -_Gimly_
The story of an emotionally detached backup dancer named Athena, who must return home to Florida to help care for her estranged father, Jack, after he gets diagnosed with cancer. There she must contend with Jack’s irresponsible lifestyle while looking after six year old Honey Bunny who is only beginning to grasp the err in Jack’s ways.
A sick young man drives around in his daddy's camper, looking for lone stray females to kidnap, torture, rape and murder.
Some youngsters rape and kill their teacher; but they won't tell their motivation. The police detective on the case feels some sinister influence behind the young murderers.
An escaped convicted murderer invades the cottage of a man, his wife and the wife's sister, whereupon he proceeds to torment this already dysfunctional trio with rape and violence.
While doing the inventory for a lingerie outlet in a high rise office building, five attractive women are terrorized by a series of bizarre killings. They suspect that the strange janitor, who witnessed another series of killings years back, is at the bottom of the whole thing. Little do they know the real horror that they face in the end.
An invisible scientist escapes from an asylum and teaches high-school physics to nubile teens.
A sleazy producer develops a concept he dubs "blood surfing" - tossing bloody fish remains into the water to lure sharks and then surfing through the animals as they chomp about. Along with his camerawoman, the producer brings two thrill-seeking surfers to the coast of Florida to capture some gnarly footage. But, as they blood surf, they encounter something even more deadly: a colossal prehistoric crocodile intent on devouring them.
Dray is a young playboy whose only objective in life seems to be to have sex with as many girls as he can without getting caught by his girlfriend Lisa. Dray's sister Jenny and her friend Katrina plan to show him that the way he lives is wrong and organize a party in Malibu, inviting all of his girlfriends.
Don Gallico is an inventor of stage magic effects who aspires to become a star in his own right. Just before his first performance his act is shut down by capricious manager Ross Ormond who wants Gallico's brilliant buzz saw effect for the act of The Great Rinaldi, an established star. With this defeat, and the humiliation of having already lost his wife Claire to Ormond, Gallico decides it is time to take matters into his own hands.
An all-female motorcycle gang, called 'The Maneaters' hold motorcycle races, as well as terrorize the residents of a small Florida town, and clash off against an all-male rival gang of hot-riders.
A ditsy reporter enlists the help of a sleazy private eye to solve a series of gory killings of female strippers at a Chicago nightclub.